Welcome to my blog! Hear life changing words, juicy secrets, and plenty of drama! Well, not really. But what you will get answered is this: What random things are flitting through Petty's mind the few moments a month she manages to get on to here?

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

The Next Blog

For years, my narcissistic take on life has caused me to repeatedly ignore the "Next Blog" button on the top of this page. Until today. I ventured out into the unknown, and this is what I found:

The first time I clicked it, I came to a highly advanced blog (certainly out of my league) consisting of hundreds, if not thousands, of posts, all of which were nicely presented in attractive little squares that flip over upon the mouse gliding over them. I believe the blog was called something like, "FairyDance", but I was so frazzled being attacked by an accomplished blogger that I immediately hit the back button and settled back into my own mediocre blog.

Eventually, I gathered enough nerves to click it again. This time, my eyes were assaulted by a sleek black blog entitled "Surf Dog's Blog the Art of Shawn Boyles". Approximately two things registered first: That "Boyles" was a really unfortunate name, and that he ended every post with a proclamation of "Cheers". This, along with his name being Shawn caused me to automatically assume he was from the UK. Naturally, I was forced by my own masochistic impulses to comb through his entire blog to find evidence of his origins; eventually, I did. One post was entitled "Welcome to Monsterpice Theatre", "theatre" being the operative word (spelling) here. Naturally, I did not look at his profile to find where he was from, because that thought only just occurred to me right now. Anyways, once the accent thing was sorted out, I began to notice the art; it's superiority to my own caused me to short circuit once again and hit the back button.

The next blog immediately caught my attention, even before it was fully loaded, as it was named A2W. First was a graph on the NBA average, which I scrolled past without a second glance. My previous assumption, having had been correctly proved, gave me the confidence to roll off another one: this was some kind of sports blog. Naturally, I was dumbfounded on seeing that the next post was a gif showing graphs on the last letter of boys' last names each year from the 1880s to 2012. All I could do was stare as it cycled through each year, showing the trends switching from y to d to n to d again and back to n, which from the 1960s just climbed and climbed as the other letters dropped down. After I'd stared at it significantly, I decided that it wasn't a sports blog, but a random poll blog. That was the only way to explain it. Therefore, the next post was naturally a map of Richmond. Ah, but not any map; a judgmental map. I've never been to Richmond, so I cannot say if it were accurate or not; but if it is accurate, then I must say I'd rather use the judgmental map than an ordinary one, because an ordinary one wouldn't outline where the Botox addicts in yoga pants lives, or where drugs possibly happened and definitely happened.

Curious, I then clicked the attached link, and was brought to a tumblr page wherein existed dozens of maps. Unfortunately, I haven't found one for Long Beach yet. I've found, however, a lovely and highly accurate map of Los Angeles, which I will post for your viewing pleasure. Though I suppose there will not be any pleasure if you are unfamiliar with Los Angeles, in which case, I've posted it for your viewing comfort.

I live in the direction of the Nouveau Riche Dicks, Surfers, Oil Refineries, and Republicans.

As so I do not discredit the author and be liable for copyright related suing and/ or guilt, here's the link as well: http://judgmentalmaps.com/post/78473663186/losangeles

Judgmental maps aside, I never understood what the blog entitled A2W was about, and I doubt I ever will.

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